Motherhood Moments: Don’t Pee in the Oatmeal

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There are times when things come out of my mouth that I never expected to say to another human. These are some favorites from the last week:

“Close the door when you’re peeing in public!” 
“You have to have clothes on to play with friends.” 
“Don’t put toys in your vagina!” 
“That’s not chocolate, it’s your poo.” 
“Don’t crawl under the bathroom stall, someone else is in there!” 

I don’t think I’m being unreasonable when I say I that I NEVER thought those words would leave my mouth. Seriously. But my most aggravating bit of unexpected shared wisdom was yesterday when I said the following to BIG E:
“Why don’t you have any clothes on?”

“Did you dump ALL the oatmeal on the floor?”
I can expect a little logic from a five year old. He’s old enough to realize that dumping breakfast food all over the carpet while mom is hurriedly making dinner is not a good idea. We’ve cleaned up so many messes, he should be able to expect my reaction to oatmeal bits ground into his floor. 
And yet, when he had happily bounced out of his room, naked, excitedly exclaiming “I peed in the oatmeal!” he didn’t seem to consider what would come next.
Things went downhill from there. Yelling, crying, vacuuming, sweeping, time outs, silent treatment, cold dinner. Big E and his accomplice little g were lucky that Mountain Dad came home from work right then. My furious mood could’ve seen them locked in their rooms for the rest of the night.
As a parent, I’m constantly surprised by my kids. I just wish they would surprise me in less messy and embarrassing ways.

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Author: Mountain Mom

Hi! I'm Mountain Mom. I live with my husband and three young kids in the mountains near Sundance, Utah. When we're not hiking, biking, skiing and camping, I spend my time doing Mom stuff and reading. Summer of 2016 we traveled over 7,000 miles along the US National Park to Park Highway.

0 thoughts on “Motherhood Moments: Don’t Pee in the Oatmeal”

  1. I must admit, I laughed and laughed when I read your blog. It is amazing how many things you would never have to say as a wise and loving parent. "Please don't pee in the oatmeal" is not one that I have considered before.
    Tragedy + time = humor I think this one will be a fun one to have for the record books.

  2. I love that your dad laughed at this. I'm sure he and your mom saw more than their share of messes 🙂 Big E is a character. Two things I never had to say (from your list) were, "Don't put toys in your vagina!" and "That's not chocolate, it's your poo!" Raising kids is hard work, and I know you're probably sick of hearing this, but they really will be grown and gone before you know it. Enjoy as many of these moment as is humanly possible. Aunt Carrie wishes she could be closer to help. XO to Big E and little g…and you 🙂

  3. I know my tots love their aunt Carrie too. Feel free to spend a summer living in the mountains with us, now that your done at UConn, it might be nice to have another place to live for a month 😉

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