Month: May 2013

To my esteemed daughter little g,

It has come to my attention that your verbal skills are lacking in several areas. Although your voice is strong and powerful, it lacks diction and enuciation, essential qualities for modern discourse.

Take for example, your vocal outburst with not being allowed to dump the contents of my satchel all over the floor during church. In a moment of quiet reverie, you screamed so loudly that the lady next to us in the pew covered her ears. I also felt your shrill response in the recesses of my auditory appendages, and it caused great pain.

Then again on this very day, your shouts during meal time were offensive to my sensibilities. I was reminded of a prehistoric beast bellowing at its prey. The air shook with the sounds of your displeasure which resonated off every wall. It begged the question, are you a baby or a pterodactyl? And at the table no less!

While on the subject of mealtime decorum, may I recommend the use of silverware and table linens? After lunch I wondered how pizza sauce and blueberry juice found its way on your eyebrows, under every fingernail, in your elbow creases and all over your face. Is there confusion as to the location of your mouth? Did your hand lose its way en route?

I request you amend your behavior immediately in an attempt to conform to the ladylike expectations of the day. And while you may think eighteen months young for this form of censure, I assure you I make this request with your future in mind.

Respectfully yours,
Your Mother

This Mother’s Day I’d like to introduce you to the best mom in the world. Mine. Growing up I was the middle child of nine children, and I did not appreciate all that mom did for me. In addition to having nine children, my dad traveled frequently for work, so many weeks my mom was the only adult in the house. Her work was never ending.

Here’s a list of things I now appreciate that my mother did for me, that I was too self absorbed to realize before.

1. Daily Home Cooked Meals.  We ate dinner at 5:00 pm every day. Consider the army sized spread of food required to feed nine children, various friends and random strangers that were often around. Not to mention, mom often made hot breakfasts before school, a feat I cannot seem to replicate in my own life due to my intense desire to sleep as long as possible.

2. Clean Clothes and Sheets. Our laundry room growing up was an 8 foot by 6 foot closet filled to the brim with clothes.  Piles and piles of dirty clothes surrounded the washer and dryer, making it impossible to even open the door completely.We had an entire hamper full of mismatched socks, which balanced precariously on top of the clothes mountains. However, despite the overwhelming sea of shirts, pants and underwear, I never remember lacking clean clothes. Somehow my mom did enough laundry to keep the nine of us from smelling like garbage.

3. Patience. Noise was never ending in my home growing up.  My mom tells a story of a kindergarten friend coming over and hiding in the closet, with hands over her ears saying “It’s just so loud!” Despite the constant noise and slightly managed chaos, I can count on my hand the number of times my mom yelled at me, or any of my siblings. She is the most patient person I know.

4. Kid Centered Fun. With nine kids in the household, we had the majority vote on a number of issues. In addition to a giant trampoline in the backyard, we had a sandbox with a sit on excavator, teather ball pole and swimming pool through the years. Plus mom let us do things that other moms would not have allowed. We spent hours in the summer time hitting tennis balls against the garage door, lighting off fireworks with the minimal supervision of older siblings, and several adventures involving climbing on the roof. A case could be made that she didn’t know of the roof adventures, but I’ll leave that to be determined another time.

5. Love. As a mother, and now a grandmother, I can see that my mom has a heart full of love. She spent thirty years raising her own children, then another five being the full time care giver for my grandmother. She has sacrificed her own wants and desires time and time again. As a child I especially appreciated the precious one on one time she gave each of us, usually in the evenings with a ‘special rock’ in the rocking chair. Her actions told us, “I love you,” over and over.

Thanks for an amazing childhood, mom. You’re my hero. Happy Mother’s Day dear readers. To all those who have mothers out there, I hope your Mother’s Day is spectacular.